Sunday, December 28, 2008

Things I Don't Want

1. An expensive car. Can it make traffic go away? Can it allow me to safely buck the speed limit without getting a ticket? No? My used Corolla will do just fine.

2. A designer purse. I don't care how chic it is, which celebrites have one, who designed it, how many underpaid Indonesian children hand-stitched it, or how intricate the leather-dying process is. IT IS NOT WORTH THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS! It will not make me look thinner or more attractive--it is attached to the arm--and it will only make me that much more likely to be mugged.

3. Botox and/or breast augmentation. I can go from worrying about wrinkles and attracting the opposite sex to worrying about if my face looks artifically wrinkle-free and if the opposite sex is attracted only to my artifical assets. Cost?Outrageous prices and post-surgical pain.

Now that I have congratulated myself on my list of what I do not want, I should admit that I love to travel and I wouldn't mind having a chef and/or personal trainer. I have never had a massage, but I am fairly certain I could get used to having them regularly, if given the opportunity. Oh, and it would be nice to one day have enough saved to buy a place to live that isn't a garage studio apartment in South Dakota.

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